Thursday, May 28, 2015

Time marches on

This year makes me feel quite old...why you ask?  Well, the class that is graduating this year are the ones that were born when I was almost a senior myself!

My principal said if we did this we wouldn't receive our diplomas so we didn' dull..

Next year is going to make me feel even older!

My sister-in-law graduated tonight from high school as well as a friend of mine's daughter.  In no time flat my son will be graduating(do NOT remind me, he's only going to be 10 this year!)

Next year I will post my graduation picture, I just have to remind myself to do know I'm getting more forgetful in my age!

My husband, who is 6 years younger than I am, never forgets to remind me how old I am.  Next year he will be 30 and its totally on for sure, he will have a birthday he'll never forget!

Congratulations Class of 2015, don't do stupid things like getting married too young and not graduating college!  Live your life and make it amazing!

You! To the Principals office!

I had always been a pretty good student, always trying to stay out of trouble, the shy one...though my friends would probably laugh at that.  My senior year of high school I wanted it to be memorable so I joined clubs, kept busy, ect.  My principal at that time was also the principal when I was in grade school so he knew me well and considering I came from a very small town with a small school he still knew who I was.

Don't pay any mind to the one on the bottom left, she is much better now!

We had this irritable emotional pregnant PE teacher.  She was a pain in the ass, she would bitch at us at every cost.  I hated PE and I used it as a social class.  I don't remember much about what happened but a friend of mine and I gave her attitude, things were said and she screamed to us about seeing the principal.  I laughed under my breath because I had known him for so many years so I knew he'd tell us to be nice.

I was wrong.

We were made to do Saturday detention.  I had never had detention before.  I was expelled from school one time because I punched a little punk out for calling me a fat whale.

Saturday detention wasn't too bad, the teacher that gave it pretty much saw it as a waste of time considering he decided to ask us questions and if we got them right we got to go home.

One day I'll tell you more about my adventures from the class of 1998.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015


I want to share with my readers something that affects about 18 percent of the United States, it is anxiety.

Anxiety is nothing to joke about, it is nothing to look down on people about.  It is real and it is one of the most common mental illness.

When I first experienced anxiety I was a senior in high school.  I had no clue what was going on.  When it hit me I felt like I was ran over by a semi truck.  I thought I was going to black out, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't function.  I felt overwhelmed by a force that wasn't there.

It went away for awhile until I started my freshman year of college.  I lived in the dorm and had a very psychotic roommate.  She was ok as long as she was high on weed but when she was off she was not a force to be reckoned with.  She would throw things around our room, she would yell, threaten, but fortunately she never hit me, I don't know why she never did and really didn't want to know why.

After my first semester I had enough so I moved down to Georgia to live with my parents.  My dad was stationed down there.  My anxiety subsided for awhile..or so I thought.  I was driving down the road with my sister when it hit again.  Driving while having an anxiety attack was not fun.  I would never want anyone to experience what I had experienced that day.  After that my sister knew when I was having one.  She would talk to me and it helped blow over.  Driving was the worst and that was when I started having driving anxiety.

My illness got worse even after I got married.  I went to doctors, therapists, and it seemed that nothing was working.  Medicine helped for awhile but it kind of just helped my depression more than my anxiety.  My first marriage was a disaster, it did not help my anxiety or depression.  That marriage lasted for a mere 10 years.

After that time I lost over 60 lbs and then my anxiety started declining and I was able to drive with little to no problem.  I still have problems driving on the interstate or where ever there is a lot of traffic and cars.  My now husband does not understand driving anxiety, he will never understand.  People who never experienced this will never understand the anguish we go through every day.  We don't have to be driving or even in the car to experience it.  It could happen just by being at home.  I remember having them frequently when I was first married.  I guess that should have been a red flag right?

All joking aside though I still have them, I don't have them as much, and I hope one day they go away completely so I can have my life back.  I want to be able to drive where ever I choose without having that suffocating feeling come and go.  I want to be able to enjoy driving again like when I was 16.

If you never experienced these issues please don't look down on others who do.  You never know if one day you experience them yourself.