Thursday, May 28, 2015

Time marches on

This year makes me feel quite old...why you ask?  Well, the class that is graduating this year are the ones that were born when I was almost a senior myself!

My principal said if we did this we wouldn't receive our diplomas so we didn' dull..

Next year is going to make me feel even older!

My sister-in-law graduated tonight from high school as well as a friend of mine's daughter.  In no time flat my son will be graduating(do NOT remind me, he's only going to be 10 this year!)

Next year I will post my graduation picture, I just have to remind myself to do know I'm getting more forgetful in my age!

My husband, who is 6 years younger than I am, never forgets to remind me how old I am.  Next year he will be 30 and its totally on for sure, he will have a birthday he'll never forget!

Congratulations Class of 2015, don't do stupid things like getting married too young and not graduating college!  Live your life and make it amazing!

You! To the Principals office!

I had always been a pretty good student, always trying to stay out of trouble, the shy one...though my friends would probably laugh at that.  My senior year of high school I wanted it to be memorable so I joined clubs, kept busy, ect.  My principal at that time was also the principal when I was in grade school so he knew me well and considering I came from a very small town with a small school he still knew who I was.

Don't pay any mind to the one on the bottom left, she is much better now!

We had this irritable emotional pregnant PE teacher.  She was a pain in the ass, she would bitch at us at every cost.  I hated PE and I used it as a social class.  I don't remember much about what happened but a friend of mine and I gave her attitude, things were said and she screamed to us about seeing the principal.  I laughed under my breath because I had known him for so many years so I knew he'd tell us to be nice.

I was wrong.

We were made to do Saturday detention.  I had never had detention before.  I was expelled from school one time because I punched a little punk out for calling me a fat whale.

Saturday detention wasn't too bad, the teacher that gave it pretty much saw it as a waste of time considering he decided to ask us questions and if we got them right we got to go home.

One day I'll tell you more about my adventures from the class of 1998.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015


I want to share with my readers something that affects about 18 percent of the United States, it is anxiety.

Anxiety is nothing to joke about, it is nothing to look down on people about.  It is real and it is one of the most common mental illness.

When I first experienced anxiety I was a senior in high school.  I had no clue what was going on.  When it hit me I felt like I was ran over by a semi truck.  I thought I was going to black out, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't function.  I felt overwhelmed by a force that wasn't there.

It went away for awhile until I started my freshman year of college.  I lived in the dorm and had a very psychotic roommate.  She was ok as long as she was high on weed but when she was off she was not a force to be reckoned with.  She would throw things around our room, she would yell, threaten, but fortunately she never hit me, I don't know why she never did and really didn't want to know why.

After my first semester I had enough so I moved down to Georgia to live with my parents.  My dad was stationed down there.  My anxiety subsided for awhile..or so I thought.  I was driving down the road with my sister when it hit again.  Driving while having an anxiety attack was not fun.  I would never want anyone to experience what I had experienced that day.  After that my sister knew when I was having one.  She would talk to me and it helped blow over.  Driving was the worst and that was when I started having driving anxiety.

My illness got worse even after I got married.  I went to doctors, therapists, and it seemed that nothing was working.  Medicine helped for awhile but it kind of just helped my depression more than my anxiety.  My first marriage was a disaster, it did not help my anxiety or depression.  That marriage lasted for a mere 10 years.

After that time I lost over 60 lbs and then my anxiety started declining and I was able to drive with little to no problem.  I still have problems driving on the interstate or where ever there is a lot of traffic and cars.  My now husband does not understand driving anxiety, he will never understand.  People who never experienced this will never understand the anguish we go through every day.  We don't have to be driving or even in the car to experience it.  It could happen just by being at home.  I remember having them frequently when I was first married.  I guess that should have been a red flag right?

All joking aside though I still have them, I don't have them as much, and I hope one day they go away completely so I can have my life back.  I want to be able to drive where ever I choose without having that suffocating feeling come and go.  I want to be able to enjoy driving again like when I was 16.

If you never experienced these issues please don't look down on others who do.  You never know if one day you experience them yourself.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

When you think everything is going as planned

So nothing in my life has gone as I planned when I was growing up but thats normal right?  I was going to go to college, graduate, and maybe settle down, get married, and have children.

Boy was I wrong.

Really wrong.

Like, "Are you a complete dumbass?" wrong.

My freshman year of college was a flop, my roommate was a drug addict and I almost was thrown up against the wall of our shared room when she wasn't high.  I eventually moved home with my parents and tried to get through what I could.

I chose the wrong major and changed it which also changed my course of my college education.

I married the first guy who paid attention to my chubby nerdy self.

Well this post just is dreadful...

Why should I continue on?

It is sad and pathetic!  I want to be a guest blogger and I am writing a post like this?

Screw that!  No one needs to read about depressing silly nonsense! know..that I'm not the only one who has gone through something like this.

We live, we learn, we try and change our ways, our lives, our behavior.  We stop judging one another and start loving one another.

We learn that the past makes us who we are today.  My third baby was a surprise.  I was done after my 2, got rid of my first husband, moved on, and never thought I'd marry again.  He isn't perfect but he made me a better person than who I used to be.

What I want to say is this: Not everyone does what they plan on doing in the future.  My days of fantasizing about being spontaneous, doing whatever I wanted, going where ever I wanted is replaced by taking care of 3 children and a husband that does anything to make me happy.  My life isn't perfect, it is definitely not what I thought it would be and I'm okay with that.

I'd like to meet someone who has their life exactly as planned from day one.  We should have coffee together.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Picky Picky!

So I have come up with ways to make menu plans but they ALWAYS seem to fall through the cracks. I'll have the perfect dinner all planned out and when I come to I will have a groan coming either from my loving husband or 10 year old son. My daughter is my foodie mini-me, she will eat sushi with me! I am still brainstorming my meal plan that will work for my family of 5 without the groaning, complaining, the going to bed without dinner attitude. I will share with you my plan of attack once I get it all together!

My 1 year old, he will pretty much eat anything!  Green beans are his absolute favorite!

Ways to make money online

1. Make money online with Swagbucks
Basically this is a free site that offers you a bunch of ways to earn cash, gift cards, or other rewards. I do all the free stuff, quizzes, searches, ect. I have tried it out and have received multiple payments from them, so I can attest that it is legit.

2. Inbox Dollars I love this site and I have gotten paid! You can choose to receive a check or a Visa pre-paid card. I got my card in the mail a few weeks after I cashed out. This is a great way to earn some extra money for things you need.
One of the easiest ways to start earning without spending any time is to make their search engine your homepage. And then automatically you will be earning money every time you search.

Pampers diapers!

I love these diapers and they are great for my baby boy's behind! Amazon has great deals! Check out this product and see for yourself!

Amazon Fire TV

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Monday, March 16, 2015

Pumpkin Spice Snickerdoodles

I decided to make a post about these amazing cookies I found on Picky Palate blog.  My kids had today off because of Veterans Day and they were driving me uber insane.  I would have made them go outside but it was cold and windy and I didn't need them to get sick so what a perfect time to make these melt in your mouth goodness.

I made a couple of adjustments but don't we always do this to recipes to make them our own?

Creaming the butter and sugar..mmm sweet gritty butter!

My little helper loves mixing ingredients!

Slowly add the dry to the wet

Have your helper mix the sugar and pumpkin spice mix

Drop the balls of goodness into the sugar mixture and roll 'em!

Line them up and bake!

Don't they look fabulous?!?

My venture of looking to make money online

Well with a husband who works 80 hours a week 35 minutes away, a 10 month old, and 2 school age kids I have been stuck at home.  Don't get me wrong, I love my family BUT I am not a homebody, I WANT to work but with everything going on in life its next to impossible to work outside the home.  I have been looking for legit jobs.  I did have one for a few weeks then found out it was performance based sales and seeming that I am not good at selling it didn't last long.  I have signed up for some surveys and I am still looking for a work at home job.  I joined some groups on facebook but most of them you have to pay...I don't believe you should have to pay to work anywhere.  I don't want a business right now, I hate bugging people to buy crap they really don't want nor need.  

Here are some of the surveys/reward sites I have signed up for:

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

What would we do without husbands?

I love writing about things that are important to me and when Mama Kat posted writing prompts for this week I was stoked, excited, about writing about someone who means the world to me.  I wasn't sure what kind of post we were supposed to write when it came to the word husband but I decided to write a bit about my husband.

Its not a very long story because we only knew each other a month before getting married on October of 2012 but even though we been together for only 2 1/2 years he changed my life for the better.  When I tell people that he is 6 years younger than I am I get the "ohh cougar!" comment, sometimes people don't believe it, probably because he looks older than I.

But I blame his army career and the fact he was blown up in the 2 deployments he went though.  Those things can make you older than you are.

I was married for 10 years to a man that I should never have been married to.  Ever.  We both agreed when we finally stopped arguing and got along, for once, after so many years.  We divorced in 2011 and we had 2 kids in that crazy marriage that should have never been.

But enough about that.  After a failed marriage, failed relationships, I met my husband through a guy who I thought I loved, come to find out he was not only married but had a girl on the side...yeah I was that naive I guess.  After that break up I wasn't going to go through another relationship, I mean, after so many failures why still try right?

Well, I didn't actually meet my husband until after the breakup.  My ex talked about him since they had 24 hour staff duty a lot.  I did see a picture of him and thought he was cute though!  I thought because he and my now husband worked together he would have known more about him.  I kind of yelled chewed  him out for not letting me know over numerous texts.  My friend had his number because we were trying to set them up and I had asked her to talk to him and text me.  I really just wanted to get him to text me so we can hang out, I honestly didn't care about the guy who I thought loved me, he was dirt to me after that.

The first pic he sent me when we first started texting each other..he thinks he so badass!

We decided to meet in person after a week of chatting.  He came over and never left!  I remember one day when I was at work I was chatting up a lady who told me that she just got married and only knew her husband for a few weeks.  I thought that was crazy!  I came home and told Mountain Man(one of the nicknames I call him) and laughed about it.  He said "Well, when its right, you know it."  I shrugged it off.  A few days later he was hinting marriage, I told him he was crazy because we only knew each other for a few weeks, I went through so many failed relationships I really wasn't crazy about getting married again.  I had my own place, car, job, and doing what I wanted.  He insisted.

So thats the intro to my husband.  After 2 1/2 years he still gives me butterflies, he is the love of my life, the one who I should have been with(despite the 6 year difference!).

Husbands are difficult to deal with, sometimes want to strangle, who makes you so angry, but at the end of the day you are happy to see them.

The things I love most about my husband is is that he looks at me when I talk, he strokes his hand on my cheek, kisses my head when we cuddle, and is truly a unique guy.  He is far from perfect and we argue quite a lot but it doesn't take long until we make up again.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

10 things I never knew until I was a mom

You hear the never ending phrase growing up, mainly from your mom: "I hope your kids are just like you!" Thanks for the curse mom. These are the 10 things(out of many) I learned when I became a mom:
You have no shame
What do I mean when I say that? I mean, it starts from when you gave birth. When you have your legs open to God and the world, it doesn't matter who is looking at your lady bits, you just want that kid out! After you give birth, you don't care if you are walking around in just your underwear, no bra, especially if you are breastfeeding. People come over and you don't even blink an eye that they can see your nipple even if they feel uncomfortable. As the kids get older, they figure out how to undress themselves and take off their diaper. They don't care who sees their backsides or even frontsides! My kids are 9, 7, and 10 months and I still walk around with nothing and they don't give two squats about it.
You have to hide your favorite treats Even with my 10 month old I still have to hide whatever goodies I'm trying to devour. He is already throwing a fit like a 2 year old if I even take a bite out of a cookie without letting him have a nibble. My older ones have outsmarted me so I literally have to wait until they are in bed before I even think about ripping open anything I don't want to share with them.
You can't remember the last time you shaved your legs or even put on makeup My husband hates hair on my body except my head and he has no problem letting me know when I'm getting a bit stubby. Sometimes I can get away with a week but once he starts calling me Harry thats when he's had enough of my no shaving strike. I did buy some makeup one day and he was shocked. I guess I have been letting myself go. I used to be pretty. Ok, enough of that.
You know all the words to kids shows and sing along I have not watched an episode of "Yo Gabba Gabba" since my daughter was younger. She is almost 8 now and she decided to put it on for the baby. In an instant I realized I was singing the song..all the songs on the show. All I was thinking was "wow, what have I become?"
Sometimes your kids teach you more than you teach them My oldest son is in the 4th grade. I have not been in the 4th grade since 1988. Things changed quite a bit since then. Education and expectations were a lot different now then they were then. I lived in Louisiana when my dad was in the army. Teachers were allowed to paddle where I went to school. Nowadays if the teacher even lays a hand or says any negative words they are sued. My son is learning so much more than I did when I was that age and thats when I learned that multiplication is a lot easier than I thought it was.
You say things you thought you never would say Calling your husband daddy is the most creepiest thing ever.
Sometimes you have to take a time out I honestly thought I'd never have kids, I loved sleeping, I loved to party, I loved being spontaneous. I had my first when I was 25 so I did have time to enjoy life but having kids does take away some of the things you do love believe it or not. I had this conversation with my aunt about taking time out, she doesn't think a mom should really do that but I believe if you want to keep your sanity it should be done on occasion.
Housework takes up most of your time I admit, I would rather just lay in my sweats and watch "The King of Queens"(I have a mad crush on Kevin James) all day than do any kind of housework but I know if nothing gets done then the house would literally fall apart. My husband and kids rely on me for pretty much everything. My husband can be worse than the kids but if you are a wife you know this already!
You have no privacy Oh, you want to take a bath/shower all by yourself? You better make sure the kids are in school and the baby is napping. You want to go to the potty without an audience, tough doodoo honey. You might as well get used to it.
All in all motherhood is the most rewarding, stressful, fun, and a lifelong job you will love and loathe!
Swing by Mama Kat and give her some love!

Why did I think this would be fun?!?

So, my husband has been working in East Texas for the past month and wanted me to stay with him for the week so excitedly I obliged, I mean who doesn't love staying in a free hotel? You have a maid every day to change your sheets, your towels, your garbage bin, and they vacuum! When was the last time anyone vacuumed in your house? What mom doesn't want someone to do things for them every day? The downside is is that you. are. in. a. hotel. A room with a TV, a bed, a phone, and a bathroom. Thats it. Ok, free wi-fi is always good of course. The first couple days I was like, "Ok, I can deal." The next couple days I want to strangle my husband for talking me into this, but I miss him when he's gone but 12 hours a day in a hotel with no car. No bueno baby. Its the day before I leave to go back home and I feel like I'm in a jail, which is ironic considering my husband is a correctional officer. My 10 month old is even looking at me like "Mom, seriously, I'm going to lose my mind and I'm not even 1." But overall I did have a mini-vacation away from everyone. Maybe I should have avoided facebook for the week.. That is crazy talk! Maybe I do need to go back home.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Pinterest junkie?

Who?  Me?


Ok..well, I guess a little..


Ok.  I love Pinterest.  My husband makes fun of my addiction but he also knows I have found a lot of great recipes and things to do to spend my time with.

The last 5 pins I would have to go back and remember because once I get on, I pin to my hearts content and then have to go reorganize my pins.  A few months ago I went through all my pins, got rid of the ones I can't go into and the ones that were labeled spam.  I usually pin Chinese food recipes since my husband loves it.

Lets go into my pinterest and see what new things I found!

A friend of mine used to make these all the time and I saw them the other day and wanted to make them soon.

My husband loves these and instead of buying them at the Sushi area of our grocery store it would probably be cheaper if I made them myself!

Work out ideas
I'm always trying to find new ways to get some exercise in daily.  I used to do monthly challenges..which meant I did them for a couple weeks then something would come up, I would forget then I'd have to double and triple them for the next few days.  I have a bunch of pins on this board and I honestly should start utilizing them!

I LOVE love love this quote.  Ever since I met my husband I live by this quote daily.  When I'm mad at him I remember this and I feel better.  This sign is now sold out but I still keep it on my pins.

This coffee cake is AMAZING, no really, you will devour it!
Iced Pumpkin Coffee Cake

Thursday, January 22, 2015

A little bit of everything

I was reading Mama Kat's blog for the writers workshop and I can't figure out which topic to write about.  I have been debating on whether or not to totally change the topics I write about and figure out how to monetize it.

I think I will sum it all down to one of the choices, one that changed my world forever only over 2 years ago I met my soulmate, my one I was truly meant to be with.  This is the post I chose:

5. If you could have given yourself a snapshot five years ago of what your life is like now, what would the picture be of and how do you think you would have felt about it?

Five years ago would be 2010.  I was separated from my now ex husband and was in a whirlwind of emotions.  I did things I was ashamed of, I neglected 2 young kids, and just lived my life the way I wanted to before I decided to get married to someone who I never should have in the first place.

If my snapshot is of what it is now I would be a better person, I would not be going through so much stress with things, I would still have my 2 babies but I would be with my now husband and him and I would be in a much better place than we are now.  I think I would have been happier, more content, more driven to be a better person.  My husband makes me a better person, he shows me the kind of person I should be and lets me know when I am not.

Life would have been much better that's for sure.

So before I start tearing up I will close with this:

Your choices are who you are today, make the right ones.  I hope I teach my own children and hope they make the right ones.