Saturday, May 31, 2014

Unconditional Love


Although I try not to talk about my personal life on this blog, I needed to write this post..

No, I had to..


Because this is about unconditional love

Mrs. Shugar asks this:
Give an example in your life when you have felt/given unconditional love. What defines unconditional love for you? Is it possible to love someone with no strings attached? 

When I got pregnant with baby #3 I was married to my second husband for a little over a year, we were having issues, trying to get past things, trying to figure out our future.  I was 8 weeks when I found out.  Mountain man was not happy, he wanted us to go over our options but I was not agreeing to them, this baby was meant to be here.  I believe he was the answer to everything I was questioning.  No matter what your religion is, God gives you the answer to things you need answering.

After letting everyone know the news, it was not happy news, both our families were not happy and let us know exactly how they felt.  We already had kids with our previous marriages, we were broke, we couldn't make ends meet.

My third trimester my mom was buying things, making sure the baby had everything, she became in love with the baby that wasn't here yet and it gave me relief.  

My whole pregnancy wasn't like my others and that probably was because my first was planned, my second was pretty much trying to keep my first marriage whole(that ended when my second was 3).  I had a lot of anxiety, what-ifs, well, sadness mainly.  I was angry at everyone and everything, I gained about 40 lbs, I didn't care what I ate.  I didn't hate my growing baby, I was just angry because of the situation.

The last part of my pregnancy we had to move in with my parents and everyone was making sure I was ok, my husband walked on eggshells around me and I didn't blame him.  I knew he was ok with this pregnancy when he started talking to and rubbing my belly and that also gave me relief.

When little man was born I immediately was in love, I couldn't believe someone I never met could make me cry tears of joy.  I cried when he was born and cried even more when I heard him cry for the first time.  My husband didn't eat anything that morning so he was sitting in a chair across from me, he never witnessed a vaginal birth since his kids were born by c-section so he was a little woozy!  He got to hold him after the baby was cleaned up and wrapped and it was so sweet just seeing him hold him and love him.

I think my pregnancy and the baby being born rekindled our marriage.  I feel like it was when we first met, the love was so strong and being around him makes me feel giddy.  We are still working on it and both are learning.  We both had pretty bad relationships before we met so we are still learning.  We will be married for 2 years in October and I pray that it will last forever.

Thank you Mrs. Shugar for letting me cry today, these love posts cleanse me and lets me talk about things I normally don't talk about on my blog.  My family does not know I blog, especially my husband since he makes fun of others who do.

Tell me about your unconditional love in the comments! :)

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Social media

I was reading this post from a fellow blogger and it inspired me to write this post.  I honestly feel that social media has taken our lives, or time, and our energy daily.  I remember after having kids I spent most of the majority of my time on Myspace.  I took that time instead of playing with my kids, watching them grow, and making memories and looking past it made me feel sad because now with a newborn I spend more time with him than I did with my other two.  I could blame it on my failed marriage or the fact that my first husband didn't care about anyone or anything but himself but those are moot answers, answers that shouldn't matter on the fact that I spent my time online instead of coloring with my kids or reading to them.

My dad used to tell me I couldn't spend one day without facebook.  I decided to prove him wrong.  I took a day out of my life and I did not log in once.  When I did I felt disconnected, I felt that I was forgetting to do something, like something wasn't right.  Right then and there I realized how much social media takes over our lives.  People can say "Oh, I can stop going online, I can stop using social media"

Ok, do it for ONE day and comment back about what happened during your day.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Whew! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one!

I came across this article on my facebook newsfeed and had to read about it.  Growing up I always longed to be liked and to have many friends.  As I got older I realized that having many friends isn't as amazing as I pictured.  I was an army wife for 10 years and I met a lot of people, many wives who I thought were great friends and turned out to be backstabbing, drama filled children.  I have jumped back in my bubble for awhile now and my life coach insists that the reason for some of my depression is that I don't have any female friends around.  I suppose that could be the cause of it but does it outweigh the possible drama and unnecessary BS?  Maybe I am a bit pessimistic but when I get my hopes up things once again fall apart.

I recently started talking to some women from a yard sale group I am in and I'm trying to be optimistic about it..I'm just not looking forward to the awkwardness of trying to say/do things to not show how outspoken and completely insane I can be. offend them.

Saturday, May 24, 2014


Here are a few of my favorite sites that send free stuff.  I usually receive them in a few weeks and most of them come with coupons(which are really nice!).  Since learning that I can download the kindle for my PC I am also posting a few free Kindle books also!

I try and update this regularly and let you know on some great deals as well!

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Love Languages


 The topic of "All you need is love" is do you like to show it or say it?

When my mountain man and I got together we didn't say "I love you" for a couple weeks(and I have to make sure that everyone knows he was the first one to say it..psh..).  He did show it by making me soup and bringing me flowers when I was sick.  He showed it by being there for me when I was going through a rough time in my life.  After the official words he says it daily, every day, even sitting on the couch he tells me.

We have one son together who was born in April and I hope that he grows up to love and we will make sure he knows and how to give love.  We have 5 children total, 2 from his first marriage and 2 from mine and then of course the little man.  My 2 live with us and they love him like a father(and love to gang up on their mother!)

I have not read the 5 Love Languages but have heard of the book.  I am planning on getting it on Kindle in the future, I think it will strengthen our marriage and our love for each other.

Every day I am reminded of his love, we play fight, cuddle, crap talk to each other but at the end of the day we know that we are sickly in love with each other.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Instagramming(is that a word?)

My latest picture on my instagram is one of my surprise, one of the three that keeps me going.  He is a spitting image of his father and the grumpiness and stubbornness to go along with it(and to think he's only 6 weeks old!).  He is the light of my life and the reason why I look like I haven't slept in days.

Mama Kat is this cuteness enough or what?

Go over to Mama Kats page and leave her love also!

Mama’s Losin’ It

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Vacation is supposed to be fun right?

Growing up, my parents used to take us on sporadic trips to anywhere.  My mom despised being in the house and it was good for all of us to do something other than parked out on the couch watching mindless TV.  When my dad got stationed to Germany we were pretty stoked.  We got to go to Amsterdam and Paris and see the Black was pretty epic!

Well Mama Kat wanted to know the 13 things I love about vacations and I think I can bring myself to at least come up with that...and it allows me to go through 2342390000 pictures my mom has trapped underneath plastic in her millions of photo albums.  I have come across a few that I am allowing the public to see.

My dad joined the army when I was 8 so we traveled.

A lot.

1) We saw sites we've never seen before

2) Souvenirs!

3) Going to the beach all the time

4) Visiting relatives you actually want to visit

5) Excuse to sleep in the car without being interrupted

6) Sitting in the back of the van with my sister texting each other and taking stupid pics

7) Staying at hotels (I am one of the weird ones who love staying at them)

8) Going to Disney World!!

Don't mind the awkward 16 year old with the braces....

9) Getting to eat at restaurants

10) no chores

11) no schedules!


13) Just being able to unwind!

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Looking over the past few years

I had published a lot of blogs the past, oh, 7 years and this one I decided to read because it was during my single days after my separation/divorce.  I wrote it to try and get over my anger towards my ex and try to at least vent without using facebook.  I was a mess and I thought I needed love to fill that void in my life.  I spent 2 years after my separation to try and "find" myself so to speak and what I found was a bunch of men who were married or trying to find their own void to fill..if you get my drift.

I went through a lot and got my heart broken..a lot.  I'm now remarried to a guy who turned my life around and helped me see that there are some good in this world.  He isn't perfect and our relationship had its rocky moments but I finally felt "in love" for once..and not the teenage love..

Monday, May 12, 2014

Lies! All lies!

I actually wrote this post a few days ago but I tweaked it a little for the...


Ok, maybe I'm getting a bit dramatic but after giving birth to baby #3 I lost 25 lbs.  I am now breastfeeding and gained 5 lbs back.

What is all this hype I heard about breastfeeding makes you lose weight?

Ok, ok, I'm being too hard on myself for someone who just gave birth a little over a month but I just feel gross(and thats not good for someone who is supposed to love themselves!)

But here's my history of breastfeeding...

I only nursed my first for about a month but that was a pain in the butt mainly because he wouldn't latch properly and I didn't have a good support system.  My second I nursed for a few months before we both got thrush, that was not a fun time..sore nipples and my daughters mouth was white and she was miserable as well!

Yeah try doing that and taking care of a hyper 2 year old on top of that!

My now husband insisted on me breastfeeding this one and I'm doing excellent..he is a great support system and wakes me up to tell me the baby is hungry helps me when needed.

So with all this frustration I decided to try Weight Watchers but I didn't want to pay for it so I did research and came across this blog dedicated to points, recipes, and links to help me.  I get an additional 14 points for nursing and its very easy to follow..I have been hungry all the time due to him feeding every 2 hours so lets just see how well I can do with it!

But I have to admit my husband still thinks I'm beautiful and thats ok with me!

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Happy Mother's Day!

Hope all the mommies had a fabulous day!  I'm sharing this video as it never fails to make me laugh so hard I'm crying!

Friday, May 9, 2014

Goonies Never Say Die!

So recently I learned that there is going to be a sequel to my favorite childhood movie according to Screenrant

At first I was like:

But now I'm like:

Why you ask?

Because Goonies is a CLASSIC 80s film.

Just like The Lost Boys...

 (have you tried to swallow the second?!?)

Just don't screw it up Richard Donner or you may have your hands full with us fans flooding your social media...

Or we may just make you do the Truffle Shuffle and post it on Youtube...

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Clowns? Really?

Mama Kat wants me to list 6 things I fear and chose the one that fears me the most.

1. Clowns
2. Heights
3. enclosed spaces
4. cockroaches
5. fear of the unknown
6. not being able to make it financially

I chose the one that a lot of people would shake their head and go why?  Why would you be afraid of a clown?  They are colorful, funny, and make you laugh.

I mean who would be afraid of this?

Yeah, me either.  But after a film I watched when I was younger (Stephen King's IT) proved otherwise.  Yeah, its a movie but c'mon, this could shatter childhoods everywhere.

And a balloon? I’ve got red and green and yellow and blue...
That's enough clowns for me today.

Go by Mama Kats and show her some love!
Mama’s Losin’ It

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Why didn't I think of this amazing idea??

So I was over at the SITS site blog reading and came across this site that lead me to this site and I thought "WOW, this is a great idea!"  I am thinking about doing this next month since you have to sign up by the 4th of the month to get a place.  I love getting packages in the mail as well as trying new foods.  Let me know if you decide to sign up and how it goes!

The Lean Green Bean

Motivation? I have none

I remember being motivated...I was, oh, 21, newly married to husband #1 and the thought of having kids was so far back on the burner you would have had to pull the stove back.  I had bills organized, the house was always sparkling clean, and my life was pretty manageable.

Fast forward to now..

I have been married to husband #2 for almost 2 years now, finances are insane, money is tight, kids are 6 and 8 going on teenagers and my one month old sees me as his milk machine.  In spite of living in a circus, I do enjoy life with my husband and he keeps me grounded when I feel like spiraling downhill.  He treats my 2 oldest as his own which is a big help and gives me the baby when he is whining to eat!  I am trying to keep on track with everything (hey, the laundry can stay in the dryer for a couple days right?).  I'm just thankful I now only am home with one kid instead of an infant and a toddler like I was back in 2007!

I just need to find some motivation to get at least a 15 minute workout..I can keep dreaming having a slammin body but my husband continues to remind me I am sexy to him!

Monday, May 5, 2014

Getting my act together

Well he's finally here, after a night of labor(and a messed up epidural) he arrived in the morning of April 9 all 7 lbs 19 oz of him!  I haven't updated until now but this little man can eat and now with 3 kids in tow its been a circus!

He's now a month old(on Wednesday).  Can't believe how fast it has gone by already!  I am now a mom to 3 kids, never thought I'd say it!

So now I am getting my act together, trying to start up a blog and hopefully in the near future a home bakery, and hopefully our finances together.