Saturday, May 31, 2014

Unconditional Love

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Although I try not to talk about my personal life on this blog, I needed to write this post..

No, I had to..

Why?

Because this is about unconditional love

Mrs. Shugar asks this:
Give an example in your life when you have felt/given unconditional love. What defines unconditional love for you? Is it possible to love someone with no strings attached? 


When I got pregnant with baby #3 I was married to my second husband for a little over a year, we were having issues, trying to get past things, trying to figure out our future.  I was 8 weeks when I found out.  Mountain man was not happy, he wanted us to go over our options but I was not agreeing to them, this baby was meant to be here.  I believe he was the answer to everything I was questioning.  No matter what your religion is, God gives you the answer to things you need answering.

After letting everyone know the news, it was not happy news, both our families were not happy and let us know exactly how they felt.  We already had kids with our previous marriages, we were broke, we couldn't make ends meet.

My third trimester my mom was buying things, making sure the baby had everything, she became in love with the baby that wasn't here yet and it gave me relief.  

My whole pregnancy wasn't like my others and that probably was because my first was planned, my second was pretty much trying to keep my first marriage whole(that ended when my second was 3).  I had a lot of anxiety, what-ifs, well, sadness mainly.  I was angry at everyone and everything, I gained about 40 lbs, I didn't care what I ate.  I didn't hate my growing baby, I was just angry because of the situation.

The last part of my pregnancy we had to move in with my parents and everyone was making sure I was ok, my husband walked on eggshells around me and I didn't blame him.  I knew he was ok with this pregnancy when he started talking to and rubbing my belly and that also gave me relief.

When little man was born I immediately was in love, I couldn't believe someone I never met could make me cry tears of joy.  I cried when he was born and cried even more when I heard him cry for the first time.  My husband didn't eat anything that morning so he was sitting in a chair across from me, he never witnessed a vaginal birth since his kids were born by c-section so he was a little woozy!  He got to hold him after the baby was cleaned up and wrapped and it was so sweet just seeing him hold him and love him.



I think my pregnancy and the baby being born rekindled our marriage.  I feel like it was when we first met, the love was so strong and being around him makes me feel giddy.  We are still working on it and both are learning.  We both had pretty bad relationships before we met so we are still learning.  We will be married for 2 years in October and I pray that it will last forever.



Thank you Mrs. Shugar for letting me cry today, these love posts cleanse me and lets me talk about things I normally don't talk about on my blog.  My family does not know I blog, especially my husband since he makes fun of others who do.

Tell me about your unconditional love in the comments! :)

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